So I dove in.
Now almost five months down the road I can say a lot more than I could have when I started. I can say that I have finally dealt with my problems in the past. I can say that not only do I know I'm forgiven, but I believe it. I can also say that he has absolutely zero power over me and I've found freedom. And that my heart has been healed and realigned.
I honestly believe that because I avoided my past my heart was misaligned. I fully believe that not dealing with my past and not seeking out healing for my heart hindered my relationship with Christ. In these past five months I have seen such a turn in the position of my heart, and one that is more towards Christ, because of the healing I've received. It's been a crazy awesome journey thus far! I went into this year with an intentional purpose I felt God had given me. I was willing to commit to a year and obey God in this calling for my life at the time. I am at a point now where I know in my heart that I have done what God called me to do in this year. The problem? I'm on month 5, not month 12. I've had to spend a lot of time in prayer these past couple weeks to try and hear what God was telling me and I've done a lot of examining of my heart in that process.
God can call me out of something just as quickly as He calls me into something. God called me into a period of intentional singleness with such clarity that I knew I was obeying The Lord when making that decision. I set a time of one full year because of the message I heard, right around the time I made this decision, from Andy Stanley about his one year challenge of singleness. I wrote a blog which you can read here about my decision to partake in this and why I chose to do it. I made a promise to God and God is a God who honors promises. However, God is a God who does not run on any time scale that we as humans create. Putting a time limit on God is absurd because He is the God of the universe and He can take a year to heal me, a week, or two years. God does everything in His own timing and although at times that can be frustrating, I am grateful for that. My prayers have been that God would speak clearly to me in what I am supposed to be doing now. It says in 2 Peter 3:8, "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." My time limit of a year could turn into 5 months in God's timing.
The way that I seek after Jesus has changed since I started this journey. But that is not to say that when the label of "being intentionally single for a year" is removed that the way I seek Jesus will revert back. I strongly believe that because I have dealt with the things that kept me from seeking after The Lord as strong as I am now, the way I seek Him will stay the same if not grow more as I grow. I've been wrestling with The Lord over this, confused, asking Him why He might be calling me out of this because I committed to a year and was fully ready to stay committed. I don't want to shut a door that is supposed to stay open. What I have been hearing is simple. It's that the purpose God set before me I have accomplished.
I can sit here and say that I am confident God is calling me out of intentional singleness. You may judge me and think that what I'm doing is wrong and I should stick out the whole year, and that's okay. But know that I am still obeying God in this decision because He is the one calling me out of this. I may not know why God is telling me that my year is up at five months at the moment, but I am ready and willing for whatever that might be. I'm shutting this door and waiting for the next door to be opened and I'm doing so with excitement!
I hope and pray that you take this without judgement or looking down upon me for not finishing the entire year. I hope and pray that you'll pray alongside and with me as I continue to run after The Lord with all that I have simply without this label. I hope and pray that you would share in the excitement of whatever comes next with me. I love you and I'm praying for you! As always, please feel free to talk to me about anything here.
God can call me out of something just as quickly as He calls me into something. God called me into a period of intentional singleness with such clarity that I knew I was obeying The Lord when making that decision. I set a time of one full year because of the message I heard, right around the time I made this decision, from Andy Stanley about his one year challenge of singleness. I wrote a blog which you can read here about my decision to partake in this and why I chose to do it. I made a promise to God and God is a God who honors promises. However, God is a God who does not run on any time scale that we as humans create. Putting a time limit on God is absurd because He is the God of the universe and He can take a year to heal me, a week, or two years. God does everything in His own timing and although at times that can be frustrating, I am grateful for that. My prayers have been that God would speak clearly to me in what I am supposed to be doing now. It says in 2 Peter 3:8, "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." My time limit of a year could turn into 5 months in God's timing.
The way that I seek after Jesus has changed since I started this journey. But that is not to say that when the label of "being intentionally single for a year" is removed that the way I seek Jesus will revert back. I strongly believe that because I have dealt with the things that kept me from seeking after The Lord as strong as I am now, the way I seek Him will stay the same if not grow more as I grow. I've been wrestling with The Lord over this, confused, asking Him why He might be calling me out of this because I committed to a year and was fully ready to stay committed. I don't want to shut a door that is supposed to stay open. What I have been hearing is simple. It's that the purpose God set before me I have accomplished.
I can sit here and say that I am confident God is calling me out of intentional singleness. You may judge me and think that what I'm doing is wrong and I should stick out the whole year, and that's okay. But know that I am still obeying God in this decision because He is the one calling me out of this. I may not know why God is telling me that my year is up at five months at the moment, but I am ready and willing for whatever that might be. I'm shutting this door and waiting for the next door to be opened and I'm doing so with excitement!
I hope and pray that you take this without judgement or looking down upon me for not finishing the entire year. I hope and pray that you'll pray alongside and with me as I continue to run after The Lord with all that I have simply without this label. I hope and pray that you would share in the excitement of whatever comes next with me. I love you and I'm praying for you! As always, please feel free to talk to me about anything here.
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